If you are doing as I asked you are not sitting around crying. You better not be sitting at your desk crying. Life is way too short. I should know. I was in pure denial to think my disease would go away. I figured if I put it out of my mind it would go away--poof--just like that. You've got to stop being mad at the world because of my disease.
I have a few last things I want to say to you my dearest best friend. I'm sorry I won't be there with you when you give birth. Oh my goodness we were almost in a race to become mothers, but you won. You used to beat me at everything. You got your first kiss before me, you got a boyfriend before me, and you now you're going to be a mommy. But, I got to see the world, meet amazing people, and live a carefree life. Mazie, you are always trying to be the best at everything and it's good that know your full potential. However, you need to live. You are about to be a mother--A MOTHER, Mazie. You've got to learn to let laugh. You need to smile more. You need to stop worrying about deadlines. Enjoy everything about this moment.
Smile, Mazie. It's the key to life. I don't care what is going on in your life. Trust me, nothing bad will last forever. You must smile often. Smile through all the painful moments, much like this one. I know, I know, you're thinking I'm writing this letter after losing my mind. But, oh my darling Mazie, I don't want you to lose your power or your will to live. I will always be with you in your heart. So, smile often. Promise me you will be happy no matter the circumstances. Also, these crazy ideas you have about marriage needs to be thrown out the window. My goddaughter or godson better grow up with you and Ryan as husband and wife. You better find your will to love because it is powerful and all-consuming in a good way. It's the most magnificent thing you will ever encounter beyond becoming a mother.
Smile, Mazie. One day soon your baby will become a know-it-all teenager and it's going to drive you insane. But, I want you to have patience. Actually, I want you to have a ton of patience because you're not very good at having patience. It'll be tough, but you both will get through it. Love your child so much he/she will overflow with love.
Smile, Mazie. I love you so much. There is no way I could ever measure it in words. Always be kind, love yourself, and be so happy that even you feel like it is unbelievable. My darling Mazie, until we meet again, hold me in your thoughts and remember my love in your heart.
Oh, and when you finish reading this letter go to the ice cream shop and indulge in my favorite...I'm literally dying for a scoop. You better laugh at that. I love you, Mazie.
Sisters forever, Lela.