Now, let's go even further and say the secret would also threaten your well being. Will you continue with your mate with every intention of working through the issues---or would your first thought be to jump on the first train smoking? Now, if you decide to work through the issues, how do you move past this knowing sooner or later it's going to bite you in the butt and possibly take a limb at the same time? Because, once you make the decision to stay, that problem is no longer his/hers---it's yours! If you are involved you must be invested. Now, as far as the "Bail Out" person, did you even take the time to dissect the issue? I would never tell someone to dress in their track shoes and sprint in 0.2 seconds at the first sign of trouble. Don't throw in the towel until you've looked at every angle. If you never give anything the time it needs and truly understand, you would never build anything worthwhile. It's easy while you're young but as you get older, of course meshing well with someone gets harder and more complicated.
Every secret you first meant to keep hidden in the dark buried under a dingy blanket, will come to light. It could take some time---and I'm speaking months and years. But, in time that buried lie will surface. Relationships built on lies always come tumbling down at the slightest gust of wind. A foundation is what will keep you and your mate afloat. So, do you forgive or fold?